Peace in the Night

Noah, our youngest, isn't really much of a cuddler. Most of the time he's really busy. Don't get me wrong - he doesn't just play independently for hours so I can get lots done. He wants me close by at all times, but not so close that I get in his way when he wants to knock over the kitchen garbage can or sneak in the bathroom and unroll all the toilet paper. Once in a while he will sit in my lap so we can read books together but most times he just wants a quick hug and he's off again.

The other night he woke up during the night and was crying really hard. The cries turned to screams and I went in to his room to check on him. I arrived just in time to see him throw himself down on the bed with a violent shake, just missing the side of the crib. I scooped him up in my arms and whispered in his ear, "I love you." Instantly he was still. He stopped crying and shaking and stared into my eyes. In the near darkness of his room we held each other tightly. Slowly he moved his hand and stroked the sleeve of my pajamas. I leaned over and kissed him gently on the forehead. It was a while until I could put him back in his crib; I didn't want this special moment to end. I stood their holding this precious child, silently thanking God for the privilege of being his mother, until at last he was sound asleep in my arms.

When I finally returned to my bed I stayed awake a while longer, pondering the mysterious power of parental love. My presence, a whispered "I love you" in the night brought peace and comfort to a child who just a moment earlier was screaming and flailing in the dark. How often do I do that with God, I wondered. Do I cry and flail and feel out of control simply because I don't stop and and sit in his arms? Do I rob myself of his peace because with all the noise around me I don't hear his whispered "I love you" in the night?

I may not be tempted to unroll the toilet paper, but I sure am good at messing up relationships. When I allow my busyness to take over, my stress level grows with the chaos around me, and I am quick to lash out at the ones I love. These messes are much harder to clean up than a spilled garbage can. Oh Lord, help me to be still and feel your love. Help me hear your voice in the dark and experience your peace in the night so I can reflect your love to those around me.