Shaken, Not Stirred

On February 29 I received a phone call about 9:30am. It was Craig telling me that he was on his way home from work - with all of his "stuff" and his final pay check. The news of the layoff was a shock and that morning we felt like our world had turned upside down. As the day went on and we prayed, processed and came up with a game plan, we reminded each other than nothing major in the universe had shifted. And if we felt "upside down" after this news, well, amen and thanks for the wake-up call because we weren't right side up anyway.

I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."
I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Psalm 16:2,8

Interestingly enough, that very same day a series of earthquakes began in our area. The epicenter is about 6 miles from our home. While they were mostly small quakes, I estimate that we were noticing 2-4 a week for the first several weeks of the dozens that were being recorded each day.

Thursday afternoon, just minutes after my kids got home from school, we had two pretty big ones close together, along with a few decent aftershocks. Friday afternoon, another big one hit while Annie and I were sitting in our home office, each in front of our computer. But Friday night, we experienced the biggest quake (so far) in recorded Nevada history - a 5.0. I remember the Loma Prieta quake vividly and even though this one was quite the 6.9 from '89 I think this one felt stronger to me because we were so much closer.

Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10

A couple hours after the kids were comforted and back asleep, Craig and I finally were able to fall asleep again. When morning came it was time to survey the damage. A quick glance around our bedroom revealed several things that had fallen off a shelf but only one broken figurine, a picture frame that had fallen and landed on my jewelry armoire but had not shattered, and a dresser with every drawer open but that had not fallen over.

Heading downstairs I surveyed my cookie jar collection. Tigger had bounced off the top shelf of a three-tiered display and landed on several others. A decorative plate in the kitchen lost. A bathroom sink-full of the entire contents of medicine cabinet. Not too bad - no major losses or damage. I opened the office door and looked inside. A few things had fallen off my bookshelf and landed on my desktop or the floor but then I looked over at the kids computer area. One of the shelves from above their desk had landed in the very chair where Annie had been sitting the previous afternoon. Sure, I'm sorry about the figurine from our wedding cake top and my Tigger cookie jar but NONE of my most precious treasures had been harmed.

My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (emphasis mine)
Psalm 62:1-2

Peace in the Night

Noah, our youngest, isn't really much of a cuddler. Most of the time he's really busy. Don't get me wrong - he doesn't just play independently for hours so I can get lots done. He wants me close by at all times, but not so close that I get in his way when he wants to knock over the kitchen garbage can or sneak in the bathroom and unroll all the toilet paper. Once in a while he will sit in my lap so we can read books together but most times he just wants a quick hug and he's off again.

The other night he woke up during the night and was crying really hard. The cries turned to screams and I went in to his room to check on him. I arrived just in time to see him throw himself down on the bed with a violent shake, just missing the side of the crib. I scooped him up in my arms and whispered in his ear, "I love you." Instantly he was still. He stopped crying and shaking and stared into my eyes. In the near darkness of his room we held each other tightly. Slowly he moved his hand and stroked the sleeve of my pajamas. I leaned over and kissed him gently on the forehead. It was a while until I could put him back in his crib; I didn't want this special moment to end. I stood their holding this precious child, silently thanking God for the privilege of being his mother, until at last he was sound asleep in my arms.

When I finally returned to my bed I stayed awake a while longer, pondering the mysterious power of parental love. My presence, a whispered "I love you" in the night brought peace and comfort to a child who just a moment earlier was screaming and flailing in the dark. How often do I do that with God, I wondered. Do I cry and flail and feel out of control simply because I don't stop and and sit in his arms? Do I rob myself of his peace because with all the noise around me I don't hear his whispered "I love you" in the night?

I may not be tempted to unroll the toilet paper, but I sure am good at messing up relationships. When I allow my busyness to take over, my stress level grows with the chaos around me, and I am quick to lash out at the ones I love. These messes are much harder to clean up than a spilled garbage can. Oh Lord, help me to be still and feel your love. Help me hear your voice in the dark and experience your peace in the night so I can reflect your love to those around me.

Math Games

When I was a kid I didn't particularly enjoy math but finally in high school something "clicked" in my freshman algebra class. It still isn't my favorite subject but often I am intrigued by numbers and sometimes I find myself playing "math games". Here's my latest...

According to my calculations, I have spent the equivalent of approximately 114 months with a child in diapers. (And I estimate another 12-18 months to go!) This translates to approximately 17, 385 diapers (a rather conservative estimate!) with at least another 1,830 to go. The saddest part - this translates to roughly $3.5K so far!

I'm going to go look for my prize box and potty seat. I've got some boys to train!

Off to CLASS I go!

No, I'm not going back to school in the traditional sense, but the Lord has laid it on my heart to attend CLASSeminar this August. This is a 3 day conference being held in Livermore, CA that is put on by CLASServices (Christian Leaders Authors and Speaker Services). I am so excited to have the opportunity to take classes, participate in small groups, learn from great speakers and give short talks and be critiqued by professional speakers and other conference attendees. I believe that God has given me a gift in this area and I am anxious to develop it.

Sharing God’s truth with love is not only a holy calling but also a remarkable responsibility. I trust He will provide a way financially for me to go, and I would like to invite you to be a part of this life-changing conference! Will you prayfully consider partnering with me through a financial contribution towards a scholarship that will allow me to attend?

Thankfully, this event is being offered within driving distance and in an area where I know people so I will not have to pay for a hotel. As you feel led to join me in this exciting call, there are two primary ways you can participate in helping me fund the $450 for the conference registration.

If you would like to just make a straight "donation" in ANY amount, your gift would be welcome and appreciated. The reason I used quotation marks is that your gift is not tax-deductible as our family does not officially count as a non-profit! (Smile with me...) I am also working hard selling things on craigslist to earn money to cover the cost so if you have any items you would like to "donate" I will sell them and put the money in my CLASS fund. Please e-mail me for more details or with any questions.

I would really appreciate your prayers as I prepare to attend over the next several months. Pray not just for the finances to come together but that God would begin now preparing my heart, my mind, and my family for this event. Pray that I would grow in knowledge and skill and that more speaking ministry opportunities would come.

The Lord bless you as you pray and give towards equipping the saints for the Kingdom of God! I appreciate your thoughtfulness so much and could not do this without you being a very important part.

Blessings!