My kids say the darndest things!

Some of these are from a while back but I thought they were worth posting...

Jan. 06 We were sitting at dinner tonight and out of the blue she says, totally seriously, "When can we play Pass the Max? We'll just pass him around the circle and whoever is holding him when he spits up wins!"

2-6-06 I decided to buy Annie a new dress for her birthday. Monday night I took her to the store with me and on the way I told her that I was going to show her her birthday present when we got there. She loved the dress I had picked out! (I'd had my eye on it for weeks...) She wanted to hold the bag in the car and was talking about how she wanted to try it on when she got home to surprise Daddy and Josh. At one point I said, boy, you sure seem excited. Her reply - I'm so excited it's like we're getting pizza for dinner and the whole world was made out of chocolate!

2-13-06 Annie wouldn't get up and went back in there and said, "Are you a sleepy-head today?" She replied, "No, I'm a frozen-head!"

August
I was toasting frozen waffles for breakfast this morning. But, there was some debris in the bottom of the toaster oven and one of the waffles caught on fire. Next thing I knew Josh was out of seat on the floor saying, "Annie - quick! Get low!" To which Annie responded, "Yeah! And don't forget to stop, drop & roll!"

Sept.
My kids came home from church tonight with an especially neat craft. I asked her their teacher was and my daughter replied, "Miss Piggy." I laughed thinking about how they had watched The Great Muppet Caper this afternoon, but I wondered what she meant. After a minute I asked, "Could it have been Miss Peggy?" "Oh, yeah, that's what I meant."

A recent funny conversation:
(walking down the hallway in opposite directions)
Me: I love you.
Josh: I love you.
Me: Really? You do?
Josh: Yep, I do.
Me: Hey, that gives me an idea. Maybe since we love each other you could be my kid and I could be your mom.
Josh: That sounds good.
Me: Okay, but what do moms do?
Josh: Well, they get pregnant, have babies and make rules!

Oct.
10-5 My daughter announced at dinner last night that she is the "Craft Queen" and her brother is the "Snack King."

10-8 The other night we ordered Chinese food for dinner and in the middle of the meal Josh (6) said, "It's a good thing I wasn't born in China." Knowing how much he loved Chinese food, I asked him to explain why he thought that. "I don't know any Chinese," came the reply. "Not a single word!"

10-16 Our family is dressing as Wizard of Oz characters for Halloween this year and my 5 year old daughter is going to be Dorothy. When they scheduled my c-section for the week before Halloween Annie asked if the new baby could be Toto. Well, yesterday
I picked up a basket at Wal-Mart for her to carry. I figured she could use it to put her candy and prizes in and it would go nicely with her costume. She was /so excited /when she saw it because she thought she was going to get to carry the baby around in the basket. After all, she is Dorothy and the baby is going to be Toto. I think she was okay with the candy/prize idea once she got over the initial disappointment...



Nov.
Some recent conversations with Josh, age 6:

Josh: Mom, how many hours are in a day?
Me: Twenty-four.
Josh: How many hours are in a night?
How do you answer that?

Me: Kids, go get your shoes on. We need to go to the grocery store.
Josh: You know, Mom, if we get a cow we'd never need to go buy milk.
Me: Nice idea, Josh. Just go get your shoes on please.

We decided to try rearranging the kids' bedrooms and were moving Josh (6) in with Max (15 months). As I was tucking him in, Josh said, "Mom, what happens if I'm so asleep that I don't hear Max if he cries?" I told him not to worry because I always hear him. Then he said, "Oh yeah, moms are always awake. I just stand by you and your eyes open right up. But dads have to be patted and stuff for a while before they wake up."


12-1
Annie was making her peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and she was describing each step out loud as she did it. When she noticed I was watching her she looked up at me and said, "I'm just being Rachel Ray!"

I was on the couch feeding the baby and was starting to doze off a little. Annie was next to me so she leaned over and gently stroked my arm and started to sing in her sweetest voice, "Rock a bye grown-up..." I laughed so hard I almost dropped the baby!

I decided to introduce the Advent wreath to my kids this year in hopes of creating a new family tradition. The first Sunday I set the table in the dining room for a special dinner and put the wreath in the middle of the table. After dinner, I started to explain to the kids that each candle represents something different and we'll talk about a different part of the Christmas story each Sunday as we light that candle. Right as I'm talking about what a fun way this will be to help us count down the weeks until Jesus' birthday, Josh interrupts with, "Is this a menorah?" Gotta love public school...

January 2007
Annie: I need some more tennis shoes, Mom.
Me: What happened to your other ones?
Annie: They shrunk!
(Me: Yeah, so did my jeans...)

I took Josh and Annie to get their hair cut over the weekend. While we waiting our turn another family walked in with a little blond girl about Annie's age. Annie turned to me and said, "Can I have my hair golden like hers?" I answered, "No, honey, God picked the color of your hair and we need to keep it that way." Her answer - "But you color your hair, Mommy!" Busted again.

Annie: Can I have a snack, Mom? I'm Spanished!
Me: I think you mean famished, Annie.
Annie: Oh, yeah, famished. What does famished mean?

Josh: Do you want me to eat some of those tater tots right now to make sure they aren't poisoned?

Craig: Please stop - that is so irritating.
Annie: What's irritating mean?
Josh: It's when one ear is frustrated with the other.

March 20, 2007
Max doesn't have a very big vocabulary yet but one of his "words" is "quack quack". He always says it when he sees a duck, but he thinks other animals make that sound too. This morning he was looking at the fish and frogs in our tank and started to say "quack quack." Josh came over and corrected him - "No, Max. That's not a quack quack. That's a glub glub."